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Main 		xenogears fanwank fanwork

Blah blah blah blah. Home of the (incomplete) Kahran Ramsus Saga, which is sometimes as pretentious as it sounds. At the time when I played the game and was writing these fics, I empathized deeply with a character who was never good enough no matter what he did or how hard he tried. I had intentions to write about other characters, but the Ramsus story arc kind of took over everything. In the end, I think I actually ended up putting more depth into the character than the game had given him in the first place.

The rough chronology is: Blood of Eden, Memory and Desire, A Mother's Hand, On The Edge Of Night, Power Insurmountable, Whom The Gods Destroy, Listening, Things Left Behind, Advent. Paradise Lost is, um, in a class by itself, and doesn't really fit into any timeline (thankfully).

Standard disclaimer: I don't own this, I don't claim to own it, don't sue me, et al. You lawyer-type folks have better things to do with your time, right?

Advent
February 1999

To everything its end, and Kahran Ramsus, aging and weak, is nearing the end of his own life, but an old acquaintance wishes to atone for past sins. (Post-game.)

I also have an illustration for Advent done by Calis Cheah. (Note to self: See, people DO read this stuff.) I love Krelian's eyes in this one.

Blood of Eden
December 1999

I worked on this for about six months as an ongoing fic for the Ramsus shrine on Guardian Angels. It's about Ramsus's "childhood," such as it were, up through his entry into Jugend, at which point I took a sort-of permanent hiatus because I couldn't figure out where to take the story from here.

Laments of a False Messiah
December 1999

I CAN QUOTE TEH BIBLE LOOK HOW L33T I AM. omg omg. I forget what exactly compelled me to write this, but "not guilty by reason of insanity due to exposure to mass quantities of fanwankage" comes to mind, possibly.

Listening
January 2000

Random Sigurd/Ramsus shounen-ai, actually just done as a writing exercise, but I ended up liking it enough to post it. I guess it's pretty decent for the time during which I wrote it.

Memory and Desire
(Co-written with Amber Michelle)

I have a strange fixation with the idea of a Krelian/Miang relationship. (Come on, they had 500 years together, don't tell me they didn't get up to SOMETHING during that time.) So does Amber. It came to this.

A Mother's Hand
January 2001

Um, squick warning on this one, for those who are easily grossed out. I actually wrote this to take out frustration when I was pissed off at an ex-SO, which is kind of more disturbing to me than the fic itself. Miang (a really disturbing version of Miang) experiments on Fei, and finds a way to love him.

Obsession
June 1999

"No thorns go deep as a rose's, and love is more cruel than lust..." A poem about Miang and Ramsus, probably the same Creepy!Miang from "A Mother's Hand."

On the Edge of Night
August 1999

Oh my god, I can't believe I actually wrote this thing. I think I must have been trying to copy someone else's style here, but whoever it was, they sure weren't worth copying from. OMG IT IS SO ANGSTY WAAHHH ITS ABOUT RASMUS UNREQUITED LUV 4 SIGURD LOL.

Paradise Lost: An Extremely Symbolic And Meaningful Story Using Many Unnecessary Literary References To Demonstrate Its Sophistication (Or, Would You Like To Buy A Bridge? I Have A Really Cheap One...)
Fall 2000

A philosophical musing upon death, life, the nature of mind and God, creativity, hot dogs, TYPING IN ALL CAPS, useless parentheses, Bohemian Rhapsody, and stupid fanwank "literary techniques." Okay, maybe just those last five. Destined to take its place among things which don't even remotely approach being great literature.

Power Insurmountable
Spring 2000

I think there is actually a story about Dominia and her past and her love for Ramsus in here somewhere. Sort of written for the Elements shrine on Guardian Angels, but beware of massive amounts of stupid pretentiousness that don't really amount to much. Blah, I could've written this in half the words.

Things Left Behind
December 2000

I confess: I like this the most out of all my Xeno fics. It's about Ramsus and a little girl, more of a character study than anything else. But give it a shot, because it's one of the few things on this page I can say I'm unequivocally happy with.

Whom The Gods Destroy
June-October 1999

I had an idea for this. I had an idea that moved me to write, to want to share it. I hope it's still in there somewhere, because it got buried and half-ruined under my massive amount of caving to fandumb, and I almost wish I could go back and do the whole thing over again. But at least I managed to end it the way I had planned.

Whom the gods wish to destroy, it is said, they would first make mad: it's about Ramsus in the world after the defeat of Deus. Light shounen-ai, and nonsexual sensuality, and some imagery that's probably incomprehensible to anyone save myself, and far too much fanwanking. But at least the idea was an honest one.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4/Epilogue

Also, there's an illustration of Hyuga for WTGD, done by the Wonderland crew, who gave me the original copy of it. Spiff.